I've been thinking a lot about this the past couple of weeks. Whether we like it or not, it's going to get messy at times. Maybe not in what some would consider a huge way, but in a way that is still life-altering.
How do I handle these situations when they arise? Can I grieve and show grace simultaneously?
The two most recent events of life getting a little messy come to mind, and this is the first:
A little over a year ago Mark and I uprooted our life in Pennsylvania. I was in a strange spot during that time. I had just graduated from college, was in the process of taking the national board exams to become a legit RT, and Mark was being called for potential job opportunities. We were both being open to the idea because we both knew for some time that it was a possibility for our future. So, as this possibility became reality, I knew it'd be difficult and messy. We would have to prep and sell our house in a terrible market, leave dear friends, a youth group we loved, and start over in a new place.
Being the ones to leave is a strange experience. I admit that, emotionally, I shut down. It was all happening so fast and only our closest friends knew that it might happen. It just didn't seem like it was really happening. I prayed for clarity; that we would know if and where we were supposed to go, and that we would make the right decision. I honestly didn't feel that clarity until after we moved. I literally had to trust God in the unknown and trust my husband's decision.
That being said, one of the most important things I learned was submission. I was learning again how to submit to God, and trust that he would take care of us and provide for us. But I think the more important thing He taught me was true submission in my marriage. From the time we moved, I have been continually learning what it means to be submissive in the most Biblical sense, and it has been incredibly freeing.
To know that my husband is striving to love me as Christ loves the church is amazing! God has called husbands to the more challenging role laid out in Ephesians 5, so I am learning that it is much easier to respect my husband and submit to his leadership. This does not mean that I don't have an opinion or that he does not include me in decisions. This doesn't mean I don't get to make decisions. This means that I don't have the burden of being the head of our household, because it's not something I want or was called to be. Whew.
To answer the questions I posed above, I think I handled the situation as graciously as I knew how to at the time. It was so hard telling our friends, church, and the kids in our youth group that we were leaving so quickly, but the grace and understanding they extended to us made the transition a bit easier.
I think it was more difficult traveling all the way to Wisconsin with both Mark & I dealing with a nasty stomach bug and then living in an extended-stay hotel room with suitcases and a dog for 3.5 weeks until we figured out where we were supposed to live.
I still miss Pennsylvania and cherish that season of our life, but God called us to a new season, and we are embracing it. I know now, more than ever, that this is where we are supposed to be for however long that may be. I'm so thankful for the beauty that comes out of those refining, life-altering, "messy" moments.
