messy {part 1}.

Life is messy. 

I've been thinking a lot about this the past couple of weeks. Whether we like it or not, it's going to get messy at times. Maybe not in what some would consider a huge way, but in a way that is still life-altering. 

How do I handle these situations when they arise? Can I grieve and show grace simultaneously? 

The two most recent events of life getting a little messy come to mind, and this is the first:

A little over a year ago Mark and I uprooted our life in Pennsylvania. I was in a strange spot during that time. I had just graduated from college, was in the process of taking the national board exams to become a legit RT, and Mark was being called for potential job opportunities. We were both being open to the idea because we both knew for some time that it was a possibility for our future. So, as this possibility became reality, I knew it'd be difficult and messy. We would have to prep and sell our house in a terrible market, leave dear friends, a youth group we loved, and start over in a new place. 

Being the ones to leave is a strange experience. I admit that, emotionally, I shut down. It was all happening so fast and only our closest friends knew that it might happen. It just didn't seem like it was really happening. I prayed for clarity; that we would know if and where we were supposed to go, and that we would make the right decision. I honestly didn't feel that clarity until after we moved. I literally had to trust God in the unknown and trust my husband's decision.

That being said, one of the most important things I learned was submission. I was learning again how to submit to God, and trust that he would take care of us and provide for us. But I think the more important thing He taught me was true submission in my marriage. From the time we moved, I have been continually learning what it means to be submissive in the most Biblical sense, and it has been incredibly freeing. 

To know that my husband is striving to love me as Christ loves the church is amazing! God has called husbands to the more challenging role laid out in Ephesians 5, so I am learning that it is much easier to respect my husband and submit to his leadership. This does not mean that I don't have an opinion or that he does not include me in decisions. This doesn't mean I don't get to make decisions. This means that I don't have the burden of being the head of our household, because it's not something I want or was called to be. Whew.

To answer the questions I posed above, I think I handled the situation as graciously as I knew how to at the time. It was so hard telling our friends, church, and the kids in our youth group that we were leaving so quickly, but the grace and understanding they extended to us made the transition a bit easier. 

I think it was more difficult traveling all the way to Wisconsin with both Mark & I dealing with a nasty stomach bug and then living in an extended-stay hotel room with suitcases and a dog for 3.5 weeks until we figured out where we were supposed to live.

I still miss Pennsylvania and cherish that season of our life, but God called us to a new season, and we are embracing it. I know now, more than ever, that this is where we are supposed to be for however long that may be. I'm so thankful for the beauty that comes out of those refining, life-altering, "messy" moments.

lately

Wow, three months have passed since I wrote about getting ready to move into our new abode. I guess it's been a bit of a whirlwind, but in a good way I think. I did what felt like quite a bit of painting, but it really only turned out to be three rooms. I blame it on two of those rooms needing two coats of primer to cover red and black walls. That, and maybe a terrible case of indecisiveness in one of those rooms. But hey, I have colors decided on for two more rooms and now it's just a matter of ponying up the cash for more paint and actually doing it. Then someday after that I'll get around to decorating. Maybe.

Just a few short weeks ago, we had another life-changing event take place in the Jarrard household; we welcomed a new baby into our family! 

Meet Gidget:

Isn't she a sweetie? She is in real life too. Panda has taken to her very well and they play together often, and sleep together even more. :)
It's awesome knowing she is getting a life outside of the horrors of a puppy mill. If you haven't heard of it or don't know what that entails, I encourage you to look it up. You will never look at pet stores the same!

I don't have my thoughts formed enough to write anything that will make me sound like a sane human being, so off I go to check off the list of "to-do's" that need to happen before company (my parents this weekend, his next) arrives on Friday!

Happy Tuesday!

{almost} home at last

I've been doing a lot of blog reading, but not a lot of blog writing. And it's been two months since I've posted anything. Shameful.

I was getting used to my "routine" if you can really call it that. I started working my "career" job the end of January, and although I don't work a set schedule, I have been getting settled into what for me is routine. I am enjoying the job, although I know I still have so much more to learn!

This past week I got to throw a little wrench (in a great way) into my daily grind. I had the honor of being a bridesmaid in my dear cousin's wedding celebration! That meant a trip to Ohio for the festivities and chance to see family. The wedding was beautiful, the dancing was a blast, & I know my cousin is one happy little lady, which makes me happy. :)

I don't have the photos off of the camera yet, but I have some proof of my overall happiness...especially three little munchkins (aka niece & nephews) I can't get enough of!

And now that I'm home & hubby left literally ten minutes after we got home to get on another airplane for work, I have taken it upon myself to work on the next big event in our lives: moving. Well, more specifically the packing part of the moving process. I'll leave the heavy lifting up to him next weekend. ;) We close on this beaut Tuesday and I'm stoked!

Ok, I don't love the baby blue shutters, but that's an easy fix. The house is great and I'm so excited to get in there and make it ours! This house brings a new and different excitement than that of our first home purchase. This is making our move to Wisconsin feel even more permanent, and it was chosen so that we can grow into it. It's crazy to think that this is the house we will be raising our future babies in! I am excited to decorate, DIY, garden, bake, have people over for dinners, have fires outside and in the fireplace, organize, have girlfriends over for chats & coffee, and for the many more memories that will be made in this space.

back to baking

I've been in the baking mood again lately. For a while I was just too busy working too hard at two jobs with too little pay. Needless to say, I was tired. But now, I finally have a career. For those of you who read & don't know, I am finally employed as a Respiratory Therapist. I'm still busy, & some days plain tired, but I'm finding my groove. Hence, the return to baking. I made sour cream cookies on Sunday, & snickerdoodles & baked potato skins yesterday, but forgot to take pictures. Bummer.

Today, I decided I needed to make bread. So, I tried a new recipe. It's called Roman bread & I love the artisan style. No need for formation perfection here! It's thicker & fluffier than foccacia, but flatter & denser than a regular loaf. There is minced onion kneaded into the dough, & is drizzled with olive oil & sprinkled with dried rosemary prior to going into the oven. Our place smelled heavenly! I think the only thing I'll change for next time is to roll it out a little thinner than the recipe instructs. That aside, I'm going to enjoy this fragrant loaf dipped in olive oil & coarse sea salt.

(Don't mind the ugly baking pan I used :)) 

new beginnings

I started to write a couple weeks ago, but wasn't really feeling it. Maybe because I was sick. Maybe because I haven't felt motivated. Or maybe I didn't feel that there was anything worth sharing. Whatever the case, it's now a new year, which means new beginnings.


We enjoyed 2011. A lot happened. The majority of it good. I can't even really think of anything bad. Toward the end of the year we were moving. It was really difficult saying 'good-bye,' but I wouldn't necessarily call it "bad." Just really difficult and emotional. It also found us trying to sell the house, me trying to get a job, having another nephew born, and celebrating holidays.


Now it's 2012. January has been good.


House officially sold.


Lifestyle change in progress which means choosing to eat healthier & work out more frequently.


Baby shower, ladies' progressive dinner, girls night out.


Hangin' with friends, letting our friendships develop and deepen.


I got a job. Starts with orientation on Monday.


It finally snowed a real snow in Wisconsin. But is already melting thanks to the bipolar weather. Panda still managed to find a clean, undisturbed patch to roll around in this morning.


There are many days I take Panda out and I'm in my pink plaid flannel pj pants. Tucked into my snow boots. At almost noon. And I don't care who sees me. 


I take her out late because we went to bed too late. And I'm just not ready to get out of bed on a day off.


So I may also let her get up on the bed on these mornings so she quits whining at me and goes back to sleep. For purely selfish reasons since I wouldn't allow this otherwise.


Don't judge.


Like I said, January has been good. And full...but not in the too busy sense. 

Life is good. :)

today

I realized it's been over a month since I've written. Hubby recently mentioned it had been a while, but I didn't realize how long of a while. I've had various thoughts over the past month, but never paused to share. Figured tonight would be a good night, although if I don't make sense at any point, I blame it on the cold that my dear husband bestowed upon me before he left for his business trip. He obviously knows I'm a big baby when I'm sick and got out of here! Totally kidding. Not about the big baby part. Oh well, making the most of it and enjoying the fireplace, the Christmas tree, and the dog letting me use her a footrest. And I did get to see him via Skype, so that was nice. :) 


On to real-ish thoughts. 


New nephew = my heart bursting and can.not.wait. to hold that precious babe and kiss his chubby-cheeked face!  Also love that my brother and his sweet wife made three little ones for me to love. And beyond cute to boot. They look like their aunt. ;)


Hubster (yes, I use that made-up word quite often). I'm so proud of him and his smartness (praying our kids get his genes in this area). I think I was just telling my MIL this, but when he started considering this job, I didn't have strong feelings either way. I didn't feel like 'yes, we must go,' or 'no way, this isn't happening.' I prayed about it and ultimately told my husband that if he absolutely knew this was what he was supposed to do, then I would support that decision and move to Wisconsin.


So glad we did. 


**Note** This was initially written in December and I'm just now posting it. Yikes.