Well, I think it's about time to take another crack at this blogging thing. Even after my last post I was still dealing with grief, although it looked much different than the first few weeks after the miscarriage. I was actually surprised at how easily I could talk about it, and it ended up being very helpful in the healing process.
It will always be something that stays with me, and through that difficult experience, I hope it has made me a better person. More compassionate, empathetic, and able to truly hear others when they speak. Everyone has a story, something in their lives that not everybody else knows or can relate to. I hope I can be someone that doesn't need to know, but can still be a friend, or even just a kind smile to a stranger. We can't know each person's story, but we can be the one person who shows genuine kindness.
I think some of these thoughts stem from observations I've had when dealing with loss. I've been on the side of giving condolences, and also on the receiving side. It's always difficult finding the right words, even after losing a loved one and knowing what gave you comfort and what made you want to smack someone. I've found it can be especially brutal when dealing with miscarriage, because unless you have experienced it, you don't really "get it." It's much different than dealing with a tangible death, in which you have a body to bury and actually knew the person in real life. I noticed that it's more difficult for people when something doesn't feel real yet, or didn't even know about it (if it wasn't yet common knowledge). So, I guess my point is, if you don't know what to say, whether it's a death of someone you knew well or a baby you didn't know about, just hug the grieving person, say "I'm so sorry," and then be a good friend by being around later when the dust has settled and reality smacks them in the face. Be the kindness and listening ears when they need it, even if you don't really know (or can't relate to) their story.
